So the game Magic the Gathering just released a new Planeswalker Dack Fayden (specific character with multiple abilities) who happens to form a combo with two others, Jace Beleren and Tezzeret the Winter Soldier (uh, I mean Seeker, he has this whole metal arm thing going on… anyway…)
Less than an hour after the new card was revealed, someone started writing three-man slashfic about them. Literally nothing is known about this Fayden guy except he’s supposedly a master thief. No fandom is immune to fucking weirdness.
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.
The Lord of the Rings summed up: There’s some good in this world and it’s worth fighting for.
The Silmarillion summed up: There are three small pieces of good left in the world, and fighting for them is a catastrophically bad idea in all circumstances.