Sex is a lot like Hercules: You have to deal with serpents, a king is telling you to do stuff, Hera ruins everything.
Sex is a lot like the Aeneid: Long winded metaphors about bees. Trojans. You forget about your wife and she dies. Juno’s pissed.
Sex is a lot like the founding of Rome: You don’t want the baby, the twins are arguing about who’s better, wolves are breastfeeding people.
Sex is a lot like the Oresteia: You bring home foreign booty asking for a threesome. Your wife murders you. Your son commits matricide. Athena acquits everyone. The Furies are there.
Sex is a lot like Oedipus: you try and do things better than was predicted, there’s a risk someone gets blinded, your mom is there.
"I don’t see alignment. People tell me I’m Chaotic, and I believe them because instead of a passport, I have an official-looking document with Explosive Runes cast on it."